Melting icy beliefs
Microdosing warmth
Imagine being next to a fire, but not being able to take in its warmth. No matter how much you turn the heat up, you still feel cold.
Without the warmth of good rest and receiving beauty we can burn out and become brittle, cold coals.
Sometimes our old belief systems and thoughts keep us from receiving. These thoughts are like dunking ourselves in cold water and then wondering why we can’t get warm.
Do any of these icy beliefs feel familiar?
I don’t deserve to be nourished
Other people are suffering, how can I receive when others are hurting?
Before I rest I first need to finish this project / list / next task
Only after everyone else feels nourished can I receive
I don’t have the time / money / resources / health to be nourished
In our circle of self-care letting ourselves rest into the warmth of nourishing actions starts with giving ourselves permission to receive.
You do deserve to be nourished, to rest, to receive.
There are always going to be people who are suffering, people who need you, and projects that are incomplete. Always.
How we stay sustainable is not by working and pushing ourselves, but by finding the right mix of clear action and receptive allowing.
Let’s warm up those icy beliefs:
I deserve to be nourished
Other people are suffering. Projects will be unfinished. I commit to receiving so I may in turn give and act fully
I need to get good rest so I finish this project / list / next task
When I deeply receive I overflow my warmth to others
I will creatively find ways to nourish myself with the resources I have available
Become more receptive to the beauty around you: smells, colors, textures, taste, touch. I call this micro-dosing. Take a one-minute mini-vacation by looking up and taking in the yumminess of a color. One minute to stop and fully, completely savor the next sip. One minute to gently rub something soft and cozy on your cheek or between your hands.
Become more receptive to compliments and gratitude from others. When someone says “thank you” take a breath, feel your feet, and say “you are welcome” back to them. Don’t dodge or distract from the moment. Take it in.
Become more permeable to beauty. Imagine you are a melting the armor of any ice or fear by seeking out the warmth of the world.
Cozy Nourishment
Make a list of all the things that nourish you. They don’t have to be traditional, and they can be wildly creative. I’m nourished by reading in bed, and I’m also nourished by hard, physical labor. One of my recent favorite nourishing moments was when I co-watched a movie on zoom with a friend — who was thousands of miles away — while I took a very long bath and snacked on popcorn and dark chocolate.
Be honest: what warms your soul and feeds your inner fire?
Do more of that.
Breathe it in.
Let yourself melt into being held by the universe, by your bed, by a friend.
Rest
We so often hear: get eight hours of sleep! Take naps!
I’m all for good sleep. Lots of it. Sleep is nourishing, restorative, yummy.
And yet… some of us don’t sleep well. Some of us have young children or parents we are caretaking. Some of us don’t nap. Some of us sleep well no matter what else is going on. Whether you are a great sleeper, have insomnia, or have interrupted sleep you can still learn how to soothingly rest.
Let’s take our self-care inspiration on nourishing rest from cats.
Cats know how to rest. They seek out sunshine, warmth, cozy places.
Make cozy dens. Use what you have. Then curl up and relax your body. Breathe. Listen to soothing music, or soothing voices.
Here is a list of sleepy podcasts for lulling you into dreamland.
https://www.timeout.com/things-to-do/best-sleep-podcasts
If you find you are not sleeping, practice resting. Don’t fight not sleeping; encourage your body to rest. Or if you find yourself still awake, get up and do something. Do your best to not dwell on not sleeping or worry. Ask: what would nourish me now? Do that.
Find restful mini-moments throughout the day. Cat nap. Lie in the sun watching clouds. Curl up with your dog. Lie on the floor and set a timer for five minutes. Soften your muscles when you are waiting. Close your eyes between calls and let the chair hold you.
Renewal
Find people and places that nourish you. Have adventures. Dance wildly. Stay in and have a fancy dinner party for one, or for ten. What nourishes you? What makes you feel more rested, alive, and curious? What renews your soul and your inspiration?
Permission granted.
Here are some ideas:
Make a circle of candles in the center of your living room and play your favorite dance song
Go visit a labyrinth and walk it while listening to soothing music
Create a blanket fort with pillows and blankies and sheets and have a hideaway in the middle of the day
Carry your favorite soap to work and use it on your breaks
Wear your most coziest clothes out to run errands
Have a bonfire and dance wildly with your friends (okay, not for everyone! But look at this joy and warming nourishment!)
Sit against the trunk or up in the branches of a tree and rest
Make yourself a nourishing meal and savor it slowly
Turn a bath into a long, luxurious experience with rose petals and candles
Have a slumber party at a friend’s house and watch funny movies
Turn off all your electronics and have a home-cation where you pretend you are away
Here’s to more warming, nourishing self-care.
With love,
Ash
P.S. Melt Ice.
What a beautiful reframe on self-care and receiving. The micro-dosing warmth idea is something I've been trying to practice lately, taking those little one-minute pauses to actually absorb whats around me. Dunno why it took me so long to realize that constantly giving without receiving just leaves you empty. The cat nap philosphy might be the most practical self-care advice I've read in ages.