this happens to me a lot with men of all ages but mostly younger. I am now 60, but since I was 55 is like a light was switched on me and men in their 20s and 30s or older keep being attracted to me. Sometimes is pleasant but other times they can become quite aggressive and stalking me when i say No to them.
It is fascinating to me that this is happening more and more; my goddaughter Rowan, who is in her 20's, said that it is definitely something she is seeing in men her age.
Reading about your encounter in New Mexico, I appreciate the way you laid out the facts. It seems like you’re searching for some kind of truth or understanding about what happened. But the reality is, we’ll never fully know the truth about this stranger. There are always going to be mysteries surrounding other people, especially in brief encounters.
Speaking as someone who’s made plenty of mistakes in the past, I can empathize with the situation and offer my own interpretation of his actions. The most important takeaway here is that you followed your intuition. In situations like this, it’s crucial to listen to that inner voice. At one extreme, this might have been an innocuous encounter. But on the other extreme, it could’ve easily been very dangerous. Your instincts leaned toward danger, and that’s what matters. Trusting your gut - and being aware of what's actually happening - is key.
Now, before we make this guy a stand-in for all men, we should consider that he was a 20-year-old on a road trip from Alaska—a bit on the fringe of what’s typical. I do give him credit for recognizing you as a spiritual teacher, but there are still many red flags. The handshake, for one, was odd. Was he hitting on you? Most likely.
I can’t help but worry about you in situations like this, being on the road alone. I hope you’re taking precautions—locking doors, staying vigilant, and so on. His persistence with knocking was rude, and leading with compliments like "attractive" and "sexy" made his intentions clear. Another important lesson here is self-defense—every man & woman should have a plan, some skills, or tools for protection.
He could’ve been drunk, definitely seemed lonely, and I can admit I’ve made clumsy attempts at seduction under similar circumstances. I hope you took something away from the encounter, though I doubt he did. Honestly, a lot of men are pretty clueless in these situations, but it's important to stay alert for those with more predatory intentions or hidden agendas.
Burton I so appreciate your thoughtful and heart-centered response. We all make mistakes, especially when young, and I do really wish I could have talked with him in the morning to help course-correct his actions for future encounters. I definitely do not feel like he was dangerous, just young and probably as you said lonely and I was in no space to converse. I do carry a very loud device with me and pepper spray; and really agree that we all should gain skills, hone intuition, and have tools for protection that feel supportive and that we know how to use if necessary. Blessings!
Mmmm this was a flashback for me. And the comments an eye opener. In my 20's when I was freshly divorced, this happened to me all the time. Men pushing for my attention and fishing for that sexual fulfillment. I felt like I must put out some chemical signal that alerted these men to my presence. I was so hot and ready for passion all the time and coming from a background of abusive and toxic masculinity and misogyny, I had no awareness or ability to identify abuse, it was normalized. A guy who came on to me like this? If I found him attractive? He would have spent the night in my camper and some vulnerable, lonely part of me would hope that I finally found the right match. I didn't have a camper, but I did roam around the country in my Dodge Charger - driving Coast to Coast never certain where I should stay or try to plant roots. I was always looking towards the masculine to find that place where I belonged. I wonder what would have happened if you had outwardly cringed and visibly recoiled to his obvious affections. Would he have then turned on you and started torturing you in a way that wouldn't have let you sleep all night? What if you had said, "holy crap this is really repulsive behavior I'm so turned off please leave me alone now?" Might be have become violent and angrily aggressive? I remember in my 20s feeling fearful about rejecting men because it had an adverse effect, sometimes it felt easier and safer to say yes. Which is exactly what this man had hoped you would do. I am so glad that you stood your ground and didn't reward the behavior with a yes. I am so glad I'm not subject to those wild hormones that drew men like that to me at all times. Menopause is such a relief as combined with wisdom and understanding. Thank you for your brilliant and thought provoking share.
Stopping by at a reasonable hour with a cup of tea, for example, and a hope for conversation with an attractive woman I could live with.
Persistent knocking in the later evening - spidey sense says no, sounds like cruising - not a safe enough human. Glad you soon to be or are home. May Demi's warm spirit greet you and hold you.
ewww, a young and bold stalker space violator at best, and your "male friend" comment is not a healthy male response. Do I really need to be this specific? Stalking is a form of gender-based violence toward women, girls, two spirit and LGBTQIA people, who are in the highest risk groups to experience predatory male behavior. Violence toward these groups is epidemic on planet Earth. There is a direct connection between industrial, environmental violence toward Mother Earth and violence toward women, and the feminine. This thinking and behavior arrived here on Turtle Island in 1492 via the ideological supremacist belief systems of the Vatican's 14-1500s Doctrines and Bulls of domination and were spread throughout the world via colonization.
"Did he really just" stalk you? Yes.
Stay safe out there siStar - sometimes fierce love growls like a Jaguar sent from the awareness of a Hummingbird. Prayers for Demi's journey of becoming ancestar and may your heart be held gently at this time of loss.
Well said. The fact that "Sam" showed up at the first sign of vulnerability- when Ash parked her truck, got out to assess- is a worrisome signal. Congrats for stickhandling a sticky situation like a Warrior, Goddess, Ash.
My advice, no victim blaming- caution on the handshakes. Predators like close contact.
I am so sorry about your dog - sending big hugs. That guy was beyond rude. I have had that kind of handshake -- it is so disrespectful! So much ick, and also like he's seeing what he can get away with. And coming back in the dark, waking you up - all boundary pushing. He probably could tell he would not get anywhere with you, thankfully. I do worry about him trying the same thing with someone whose energy is not as powerful. I hope that he gets the message - from men as well as women - that this is not acceptable behavior. You're right - it isn't courage. It's entitlement and it's creepy.
Interesting encounter with a young man who needs to learn how to know when a woman is not interested in him. Immaturity, but also not listening to what you said. Then, to wake you up after seeing no lights on in your rv. Come on! He has some learning to do! Glad you were safe in this bizarre encounter!
echoing the others here. The entitlement and clear ignorance it would take to do the uninvited touching, to go onto the property at night, then to knock on your premises, and also that thing about offering to drive your truck? I love that you were able to cut it with clear, direct energy.
this happens to me a lot with men of all ages but mostly younger. I am now 60, but since I was 55 is like a light was switched on me and men in their 20s and 30s or older keep being attracted to me. Sometimes is pleasant but other times they can become quite aggressive and stalking me when i say No to them.
It is fascinating to me that this is happening more and more; my goddaughter Rowan, who is in her 20's, said that it is definitely something she is seeing in men her age.
Reading about your encounter in New Mexico, I appreciate the way you laid out the facts. It seems like you’re searching for some kind of truth or understanding about what happened. But the reality is, we’ll never fully know the truth about this stranger. There are always going to be mysteries surrounding other people, especially in brief encounters.
Speaking as someone who’s made plenty of mistakes in the past, I can empathize with the situation and offer my own interpretation of his actions. The most important takeaway here is that you followed your intuition. In situations like this, it’s crucial to listen to that inner voice. At one extreme, this might have been an innocuous encounter. But on the other extreme, it could’ve easily been very dangerous. Your instincts leaned toward danger, and that’s what matters. Trusting your gut - and being aware of what's actually happening - is key.
Now, before we make this guy a stand-in for all men, we should consider that he was a 20-year-old on a road trip from Alaska—a bit on the fringe of what’s typical. I do give him credit for recognizing you as a spiritual teacher, but there are still many red flags. The handshake, for one, was odd. Was he hitting on you? Most likely.
I can’t help but worry about you in situations like this, being on the road alone. I hope you’re taking precautions—locking doors, staying vigilant, and so on. His persistence with knocking was rude, and leading with compliments like "attractive" and "sexy" made his intentions clear. Another important lesson here is self-defense—every man & woman should have a plan, some skills, or tools for protection.
He could’ve been drunk, definitely seemed lonely, and I can admit I’ve made clumsy attempts at seduction under similar circumstances. I hope you took something away from the encounter, though I doubt he did. Honestly, a lot of men are pretty clueless in these situations, but it's important to stay alert for those with more predatory intentions or hidden agendas.
Burton I so appreciate your thoughtful and heart-centered response. We all make mistakes, especially when young, and I do really wish I could have talked with him in the morning to help course-correct his actions for future encounters. I definitely do not feel like he was dangerous, just young and probably as you said lonely and I was in no space to converse. I do carry a very loud device with me and pepper spray; and really agree that we all should gain skills, hone intuition, and have tools for protection that feel supportive and that we know how to use if necessary. Blessings!
Mmmm this was a flashback for me. And the comments an eye opener. In my 20's when I was freshly divorced, this happened to me all the time. Men pushing for my attention and fishing for that sexual fulfillment. I felt like I must put out some chemical signal that alerted these men to my presence. I was so hot and ready for passion all the time and coming from a background of abusive and toxic masculinity and misogyny, I had no awareness or ability to identify abuse, it was normalized. A guy who came on to me like this? If I found him attractive? He would have spent the night in my camper and some vulnerable, lonely part of me would hope that I finally found the right match. I didn't have a camper, but I did roam around the country in my Dodge Charger - driving Coast to Coast never certain where I should stay or try to plant roots. I was always looking towards the masculine to find that place where I belonged. I wonder what would have happened if you had outwardly cringed and visibly recoiled to his obvious affections. Would he have then turned on you and started torturing you in a way that wouldn't have let you sleep all night? What if you had said, "holy crap this is really repulsive behavior I'm so turned off please leave me alone now?" Might be have become violent and angrily aggressive? I remember in my 20s feeling fearful about rejecting men because it had an adverse effect, sometimes it felt easier and safer to say yes. Which is exactly what this man had hoped you would do. I am so glad that you stood your ground and didn't reward the behavior with a yes. I am so glad I'm not subject to those wild hormones that drew men like that to me at all times. Menopause is such a relief as combined with wisdom and understanding. Thank you for your brilliant and thought provoking share.
Yikes - Sounds creepy. For example,
The handshake, rub sounds creepy.
Stopping by at a reasonable hour with a cup of tea, for example, and a hope for conversation with an attractive woman I could live with.
Persistent knocking in the later evening - spidey sense says no, sounds like cruising - not a safe enough human. Glad you soon to be or are home. May Demi's warm spirit greet you and hold you.
ewww, a young and bold stalker space violator at best, and your "male friend" comment is not a healthy male response. Do I really need to be this specific? Stalking is a form of gender-based violence toward women, girls, two spirit and LGBTQIA people, who are in the highest risk groups to experience predatory male behavior. Violence toward these groups is epidemic on planet Earth. There is a direct connection between industrial, environmental violence toward Mother Earth and violence toward women, and the feminine. This thinking and behavior arrived here on Turtle Island in 1492 via the ideological supremacist belief systems of the Vatican's 14-1500s Doctrines and Bulls of domination and were spread throughout the world via colonization.
"Did he really just" stalk you? Yes.
Stay safe out there siStar - sometimes fierce love growls like a Jaguar sent from the awareness of a Hummingbird. Prayers for Demi's journey of becoming ancestar and may your heart be held gently at this time of loss.
Well said. The fact that "Sam" showed up at the first sign of vulnerability- when Ash parked her truck, got out to assess- is a worrisome signal. Congrats for stickhandling a sticky situation like a Warrior, Goddess, Ash.
My advice, no victim blaming- caution on the handshakes. Predators like close contact.
I am so sorry about your dog - sending big hugs. That guy was beyond rude. I have had that kind of handshake -- it is so disrespectful! So much ick, and also like he's seeing what he can get away with. And coming back in the dark, waking you up - all boundary pushing. He probably could tell he would not get anywhere with you, thankfully. I do worry about him trying the same thing with someone whose energy is not as powerful. I hope that he gets the message - from men as well as women - that this is not acceptable behavior. You're right - it isn't courage. It's entitlement and it's creepy.
Interesting encounter with a young man who needs to learn how to know when a woman is not interested in him. Immaturity, but also not listening to what you said. Then, to wake you up after seeing no lights on in your rv. Come on! He has some learning to do! Glad you were safe in this bizarre encounter!
Warrior Goddess..nice job standing in your power, without wavering!
Well done keeping your calm control in a very weird encounter at best.
I’m sorry for the loss of your pup 💔
echoing the others here. The entitlement and clear ignorance it would take to do the uninvited touching, to go onto the property at night, then to knock on your premises, and also that thing about offering to drive your truck? I love that you were able to cut it with clear, direct energy.