The Covid Pause and Puzzle Pieces

Hello from the in-between place

Greetings!

I returned home from my three-month journey to France, Scotland, and Ireland with an extra passenger: COVID-19. So my first few days in my house have been all about rest, reading books, lots of soup and tea, slow unpacking, and one 500-piece puzzle on my dining room table.

Central Park NYC coming together piece by piece

I want to take a moment to welcome all our new subscribers to Out of the Fire — Hi! Thanks for joining me on an exploration of how to dance with contradiction. I’m currently working on part three of a three-part series about the beginning stages of restoration at the land I steward post-wildfire. 

Last night, back up on the land in the first time in months, I lay awake for hours in the darkness. Outside the windows I watched the stars glisten between the trees. I pondered a new title for the last article in the series and decided on: Failures R Us. 

It’s the perfect title.

Writing is such an interesting job. It is not a profession that begins and ends while one is actually doing the writing. Words, images, and ideas weave together constantly in unexpected ways, at unexpected times. Sometimes they tangle and there is a feeling of internal gridlock. Then some new internal passageway opens, light pours in and the tangle dissolves. Ideas suddenly start flowing again on the neural network highway. 

For days now I’ve felt exhausted and empty, basically staring at the same two paragraphs for the start of the next article. I’ve learned to not try to force creativity to happen, and to not abandon the creation, but to stay in the sacred tension of patience and availability for the muse to grace me. It’s a little bit like constantly saying to the invisible realms of the imagination: “Hi! I’m still here. Hi! I’m still here. Hi! I’m still here!”

So often my inspiration come in the middle of the night or as I’m waking up. In the 3 am darkness this morning, listening to the silence, some benevolent force plucked a memory out of the vast story catalog system in my brain and presented it to me with the message: “This belongs in your next article.” 

My response: “Um, no. That is a great story, but in no way, shape, or form does it fit into with the article I am writing.” 

“Mmmmm-hhhhmmmm” came the reply. Basically the message was: Oh yes it does fit, sweetheart. You’ll see.

I finally fell back into a deep sleep, and woke up with all the puzzle pieces of the article fitting into place. Woven together beautifully, of course, with that it-totally-doesn’t-fit story.

Meadow, mountains and sky on yesterday’s hike.

On Friday I’ll share the new creation, which may or may not end up being called Failures R Us. We’ll see! 

I’m glad I could give you a peek behind the process. Thanks for being a subscriber. Each week I’ll continue to share stories and musings about how we can stretch to embrace and integrate the contradictions all around, and within us.

I always love reading your comments and thoughts; please share below!