Hope You're Feeling...
finding the balance between minimizing and fixing
As I wrote last week’s post "Make Lemonade from the Ashes" I thought of my fierce and fungal-wise friend Sophie Strand. In her Substack post "I Hope You're Feeling Better" she shares what it is like as a chronically ill person to receive countless feel betters when it is possible she may never feel better… and what would be more helpful to hear. Below is Sophie’s post; follow her Substack at Make Me Good Soil.
I believe we can bring more love into the world by leaning towards, rather than away from, each other’s suffering. Not in a caretaking or I need to fix you way, but in a present “I see you” way. It’s a dance to find a balance between the extremes of minimizing /ignoring or fixing /carrying the pain of those we love.
This week’s pondering:
Where have you felt frustrated by someone else’s response to your challenges; and where have you tried to sugar over someone else’s pain and realized later your discomfort/avoidance? Share below! No judgment, let’s just share from our hearts, witness and be witnessed by each other.
Follow Sophie on Instagram @cosmogyny
Good morning Heather Ash 🥰 I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your article! I love you, and I hope you have a blessed day 🙏🏽♥️☺️
My son and his girlfriend were shot while walking their dog at 11:30 am. It was with an AK 47 Bella did not survive and my Darian did. He’s had 9 surgeries and almost lost his leg. He bled out for 35 min and a Good Samaritan kept him alive while waiting on paramedics as you could imagine he did almost die. So many angels aligned for him that day. I have struggled with his survivors guilt and in the beginning I would deny that he had survivors guilt and I would tell him how he should feel. Here we are 3 years later and he has pain everyday mental and especially physical in his femur. I know a little more on how to check in with him to be able to “see him” when he is having a bad day. I am so grateful for this article. The more we talk about these things the more we can learn to see people and just be with them in their pain and not try to fix it. Thank you for this post. I am so grateful for you and your team.
Christy