Holding hands with the unknown

Open brain, open heart

Today I’m writing from a familiar cafe in Harlem, just down the street from where I used to live in a fourth floor walk up, 400-square foot New York City apartment.

I love writing in cafes, and especially New York City cafes. There is something exhilarating about knowing so many writers have haunted the cafes and streets of this bustling island.

My choice of writing locations this morning was the Hungarian Pastry Shop, a treasure on 111th Street, across from St. John the Divine. Many a writer has imbibed their bottomless sweet coffee while starting, struggling with, or finishing books. There is even a wall with the covers of books written there.

https://thesciencesurvey.com/spotlight/2021/12/02/a-brief-history-of-the-hungarian-pastry-shop/

My writer friend, Perdita (who met her hubby Clark at the Hungarian), told me she once heard a waitress hush a loud group of tourists in the Pastry Shop, scolding them: “People are writing here!”

Well, I didn’t quite make it to that hallowed ground today, as I decided to stay closer to home. I’m back in the City for a few days to support my friend Matthew as he gets ready for brain surgery on Monday.

Yup, brain surgery. As in they are going to open up the top of his skull and go into his brain surgery.

Matthew is one of my closest, most beloved friends (and yes, I have many.) Like me, Matthew loves humans and he has a herd of friends that love him back.

A few weeks ago Matthew had a seizure, and at the emergency room discovered that he has a 2 1/2 inch non-cancerous tumor in his upper right frontal lobe. He called me to share the news, shaken but also with his usual humor: “This is my first brain tumor! I’m not sure what it is going to be like!" he joked. With my travels I wasn’t sure if I could be with him for the surgery, but the timing worked: I’m here post-Peru and pre-Mexico. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but holding his hand as he walks into the unknown of this major surgery.

So here is my message this week, my dear readers…. love your people hard. Love yourself hard. This life can get turned topsy turvy in a nanosecond. Nothing is fixed or certain.

And that is beautiful.

Turn and face the unknown, the mysterious, the uncertain. Remind yourself: precious. Precious. Precious. The glance of a stranger. The hug of a beloved friend. The particular creak of a door. The wet paws of your dog. The beat of your miraculous heart.

Precious.

Matthew Stillman, Ash, and Day Schildkret

And oh so fleeting.

Be courageous dear ones. We can drink in the glorious and bravely face the fearful.

On Sunday a group of us will gather in Prospect Park with Matthew to dance and laugh and celebrate:

There will be a dance party in Prospect Park (Brooklyn) from 1 to 2, a summoning of enlivenment and exultation (see video below). Bring your best moves and Matthew-love, or if too far afield, move with us to whatever sounds fill you with joy. Make it a prayer.

So for any prayers you want to send Matthew’s way, or prayers you want to bless up for yourself or others, please imagine us dancing wildly on Sunday, and keep this video in your heart:

Check out Matthew’s GoFundMe for updates and/or to support him in his recovery. Bless you. You can also join his newsletter and learn more about his creation, Primal Derma, artisan skin care that I swear by. I’ll be writing his weekly newsletters for the next few months. https://primalderma.com/

And here is one of my favorite movement / prayer / release / celebration song lists:

May you do some wild dancing this weekend, and let your prayers permeate the earth and your blessings rise like sparks up into the open skies.

All my love to you, dear tender human.

Update from Wednesday, December 6th: He is home! Matthew was in surgery on Monday for 10 1/2 hours, and they were able to remove 60% of the tumor. They discharged him from the hospital today at noon. He has an impressive half-moon shaped scar and is still groggy from the surgery and drugs. And he has his humor and quick wit intact : ) Thank you for all of your prayers and well-wishes.